SWEET/BITTER LOVE??

Dear Friends,
A friend is in a situation and wants to know your opinion. Please read the full story and advise him.

"I grew up in a Christian home. Had my relationship life all planned out, in fact I thought I was going to end up with my first girlfriend as I did not want to have to date different women before settling down. But like the saying goes, 'man proposes, God disposes'.

My first girl whom I loved with my life did not marry me eventually. She had gotten so attached to a guy she called ‘just a friend’ that I could not bear it any more but had to break up.

Did I get involved with another woman? Oh Yes, I did, in fact I got involved with as many as 10 after her. Every one of them seemed to have the same issues; drama, indecision, too many male friends and sometimes, cheating.

I got tired of the whole situation of starting a new a relationship every now and then. My friends got concerned and decided I should look away from the so-called decent girls and try some with a touch of 'wildness', I am sure you know what I mean. At first, I was reluctant but on a second thought, I was like, ‘what a heck, it doesn’t kill, does it?

I decided to follow them to one of the clubs around. They particularly pointed me to the sexiest girl on the dance floor. Immediately I set my eyes on the girl, I started sweating, (please, note that I was not sweating because of the babe’s ‘hot bod’ but because I knew I would die young with that type of woman). She was the complete definition of beauty!

My friends must have pointed to her knowing that I would not want to talk to her but I decided to shock them as I walked up to her. Truth be told, I wished a vulture or some sort of beast would just carry me away as I said my first ‘hello’.

Fast forward to four months later, Anita and I became so close that my friends became jealous of me. I had completely fallen in love and she was all that mattered at some point and for the first time in years, I was in love and at peace.

We started talking about marriage. My parents, (both Pastors) were eager to meet my fancee. My mum was full of questions, one of which was, ‘so Ayo, where did you say you met this your fiancée again?’ looking straight into my eyes.

My heart raced and I just knew there was going to be a problem.

Innocently, I told them why, where and how we met and instantly I saw my both parents transformed into a tiger and tigress. The sweetness of earlier disappeared like dew on the appearance of the sun.

Bottom line is my parents don't want me to marry her because we met in a club.

I don’t want to leave the only woman that has made me happy in years.

Please, what do I do?

Should I ignore my parents and go on with the marriage?

Should I respect my parents and just let her go like that?"

What do you advise this fellow? If you ask me, I would say he should go ahead and marry the girl....

YOU WANT HER TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU?.SEE HOW

Every now and then some male friends come complaining to me about how they have tried so hard to get a girl they love to love them back. Sometimes I feel really bad for them but other times I am like, ‘Hey buddy, if you want a girl out there to fall in love with you, chances are that you'll have to go that extra step to win her over. Capiche!!

Yeah, accepted, there are some girls you do not need to work so hard to get but there are some others that you need to prove to that you are someone they can love back.

How can you do this?

Take care of yourself first. 

If you want a girl to fall in love with you, you need to show her that you can love yourself first. Practice good hygiene, wear nice clothes (pls, I mean clean clothes and no holes!), and exercise and eat right to keep your body feeling strong and healthy. Also brush your teeth regularly and use deodorants. When you show people that you think you’re worthy of love by loving yourself, they’re much more likely to agree!

 Live your life; Work 

No one wants to get into a serious relationship with someone who just sits around all day. If you want her to fall in love with you, get out there and show her that you live a great life. Go out; do the things that make you happy, fill your life with learning and exploration, and pursue your dreams. Show me a guy who works hard  and I will show you a guy that girls will fall for  in no time.

In a nutshell, follow your dreams and you'll find that girls are attracted to your passion and determination.

Show her your lovable qualities. 

People don't just decide with whom they want to fall in love. Love happens because the people involved have lovable qualities. Love often develops over time, so your job is to show the girl that you're worth being around (Don’t go arguing with every babe you go out with and expect magic to happen, they will all run away). Let your personality shine through, and give her the chance to see who you really are and what you have to offer.

Goodness, kindness, selflessness etc could do the magic!

Be funny. 

Pleases, get some sense of humor. It's no secret that girls love guys who can crack a joke or be funny. Practice jokes that work because some don’t. This is because when you're alone with a girl, telling a joke can be a great way to break the tension.

If you're not good at jokes, you got to be careful so that you don’t become a joke or ridiculous

Be playful. 

One of the most important things girls look for in a partner is playfulness. Don't take things too seriously. And most importantly, be able to laugh at yourself if need be.

Have confidence. 

Most girls aren't attracted to people who are constantly putting themselves down. So be confident, but not cocky. What are u good at, know it. Don't brag about it or show off, but put these things into your routine, let them shine every once in awhile.

Feel free to take a jab at yourself if need be, make sure you present it as a joke. It is okay to laugh at your mistakes.

Give her space. 

This doesn't mean playing hard-to-get, but give the girl control over what happens next. Suffocating her and bullying her into a relationship will do the opposite of what you're hoping for. When you give a girl room to breathe, she will often come to love you on her own terms.

This doesn’t also mean being too distant. Keep calling her regularly and showing her that you're interested.

Note that this is all about showing her how confident you are. What you're basically saying is "I had a great time with you, and I like you, but I'm not going to come on super strong because I'm not desperate." Girls and guys are both attracted to people who are cool and calm, who don't jump the gun, and who aren't desperate.

Take her out on great dates. 

If you want love to blossom, you're going to have to ask her on a date at some point. There are so many places you can go to, like the movies, an eatery, or any hangout spot. Don’t stay indoors and bore the life out of her. Visiting places together could give her the kind of excitement that could make her fall for you and make you both bond.

This is just  the tip of the iceberg. Stick around as HD brings you more exciting tips in the coming days.

'I LOVE YOU' IN RELATIONSHIPS

Some time ago, I met this friend. We clicked so fast and we started talking about life and relationships. Well, we focused more on the latter somehow, you know, ladies love 'gists' #winks#. One thing led to another and she started telling me about the man she was dating at the time. According to her, she had been with the guy for almost a year and he had never for one day told her that he loved her. The situation left her worried.

The guy kept telling her, he felt something strong but didn't know whether it was love or something else. In other words, the guy doesn't know what the feeling of love is. She kept wanting him to say that three-word sentence to her but he didn't. She asked her friends if they were facing the same situation but they all said, ‘Nope, if he loves you, he would tell you’. 

So she started feeling the guy didn't love her…

Long story short, she broke up with him..Awww

A few months later, she met someone else; a really good guy who seems to love her.

But my friend also gets worried because the guy says ‘I Love You’ like fifty times a day. She says the 'I Love You’s' come too often and that she doesn't believe they are real.  

The whole situation kinda gets me thinking….

Should there be a limit to the ‘I Love You’ we tell our lovers?

Do you think saying ‘I Love You’ means Real Love?

Is it right to break up because our partners do not say, ‘I Love You’?

How can we even know when they are true?

Dear Readers, what do you think is wrong and what do you think she can do about the current relationship?

I-Resolution: TIPS YOU WANNA APPLY IN 2014

The Year 2014 is here… Wow Thank God we made it.

A look at my Resolutions for 2014 just made me remember that I did not see those of 2013 to February. Ooops! Did I rob myself? How can I be sure of accomplishing these ones staring at me right now? Oh dear!

Ah Ha!! I think these tips might help me get as far as …hmmm… August? no, maybe November (LOL). However, if you have issues with accomplishing your Re-solution, I suggest you apply them for the year 2014. Who knows? 

Let's check 'em out..

Start small

Make resolutions that you think you can keep. If, for example, your aim is to exercise more frequently, schedule three or four days a week at the gym instead of seven. If you would like to eat healthier, try replacing some foods with the ones you enjoy, like fruit or vegetables, instead of seeing your diet as a form of punishment.

Change one behavior at a time

Unhealthy behaviors develop over the course of time. Thus, replacing unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones requires time. Don’t get overwhelmed and think that you have to reassess everything in your life. Instead, work toward changing one thing at a time.

Talk about it

Share your experiences with family and friends. Consider joining a support group to reach your goals, such as a workout class at your gym or a group of coworkers quitting smoking or some other habit. Having someone to share your struggles and successes with makes your journey to a healthier lifestyle  much easier and less intimidating.

Don’t beat yourself up

Perfection is unattainable. Remember that minor missteps when reaching your goals are completely normal and OK. Don’t give up completely because you took ice cream or a massive bowl of eba and broke your diet, or skipped the gym for a week because you were busy. Everyone has ups and downs; resolve to recover from your mistakes and get back on track.

Ask for support

Accepting help from those who care about you and will listen strengthens your resilience and ability to manage stress caused by your resolution. If you feel overwhelmed or unable to meet your goals on your own, consider seeking professional help. Psychologists are uniquely trained to understand the connection between the mind and body. They can offer strategies as to how to adjust your goals so that they are attainable, as well as help you change unhealthy behaviors and address emotional issues.

Once in a while you could reward yourself for a job well done.

Hey! Don't be caught in this guy's situation...

Hahahahahahaha...

Have the most amazing 2014!

WHICH DO YOU PREFER???

Hey Friends! How did your Christmas Celebration go? Mine was awesome and fun-filled #winks# Don't bother about the details... Hehehehe

So I was just thinking about how some things were done in the past and how they have really changed over the years.

Do you remember those days when girls used to be referred to as roses and flowers when there was a marriage intention or proposal? When the man's parents and kinsmen would come to the girl's family and say lines like:
   "We are from Okoye's Compound, we saw a beautiful flower in your house and we have come to pluck it" LOL..( I can't imagine being plucked though, whoa!!)

The age of innocence, when the flowers were kept and watered diligently until they were blossoming. Hmmm .Such a wonderful time right?

Today, the flowers go around by themselves announcing to everyone who cares to know that they are ready to be toasted plucked... hahaahaha. Babes dey vex!!

Infact, a lady was like, "I got to water myself and show the men that I am here ooo, no dulling".

Interestingly men seem to prefer the self-announcing flowers. According to some guys, the Old School style is 'LOOOONG THIIIIING'.

But you, my friends, readers etc, which do you prefer? Do you prefer having to go with all your kinsmen before you start  running things or do you prefer the flowers come to announce themselves?

MERRY CHRISTMAS - JESUS'S PRESENTS??

It is Christmas again. I mean it is Jesus’s Birthday. What can we give him for presents? Does anyone here have an idea?

Hmmm…..(thinking). I do know for sure that our moneys don’t mean anything to him because he can get it from the mouth of the fish.... Remember??

Oh yes! I think I can try...

You know that man who sits by your street everyday begging? That man you ignore whenever you pass? Please, do not ignore him this season, drop something in his plate as you pass by. That could be a present for Jesus on his day.

You know that orphanage around your neighbourhood? Don’t just look at it pitifully and pass this season. I am sure you got good clothes you don’t need anymore, try to package them, or even buy some more and send to those kids. You could also get them food stuff such as noodles, garri, rice etc. Anything that can put smiles on their faces could be a present for Jesus. Who knows?

That Hospital on your street has some people who won’t be able to eat rice, salad and chicken this season. You could just spare a minute with one or two of them praying for and playing with them. That could be a present for Jesus this season.

That broken fan in your local church has been there for a while. Fixing it could be a present for Jesus. You could even sweep and clean the church. This could make Jesus happy on his day.

For me, I think these and more are little ways we could give Jesus presents on his day… Feel free, give more tips and let us share love.

Please, share some love this season.

Remember,

Merry Christmas My Friends

FOR COUPLES: CAREFUL WHERE YOU DO IT!!

Kate and James are a new couple and friends with Mr and Mrs Bruno and had decided to visit their family friends for the weekend as was the tradition. There had been so many fun things to do such as going to the beach, going shopping, taking care of the kids, cooking etc. It was a busy and fun weekend for both families Friday through Sunday.

By Sunday afternoon, everyone just wanted to relax and probably have some siesta before the visiting couple would leave. So the visitors retired to the guest room where they had occupied since Friday.

One thing led to another and the so-in-love couple decided to give each other some pleasure. They went from one level to another. The atmosphere was so set and the couple was in another world entirely. Both were moaning and getting the best of each other with eyes closed…Wow!! Kate had reached the climax for like a million times.. Awesome!!! The man was good at what he did and obviously was in another planet.

But the wife started having that feeling you get when someone is staring at you and decided to open her eyes. She saw two tiny feet first, then her eyes followed the legs up to the face that was fixed on them. It was their friends’ six years old son. "Holy crap", Kate murmured as the boy's gaze was still fixed on them.

Kate froze. James was still in his world.

She ‘unfroze’ fast enough to bring her husband back from wherever he was. James stammered back from his pleasure world with “wha…I..I what is it? Y..you ..you don’t like it?” The wife just pointed at the baby’s direction without looking, covering herself in shame.

James, out of embarrassment was like, “Hey buddy, why are you here?”. The little boy answered and said, “I was here before you got in, I was fixing my toy over there”, pointing to a darker corner of the room. Both adults got more ashamed.“Why were you beating her? Even though, she was crying you never stopped, why?” the little boy asked. The couple was short of words. When he did not get an answer, he walked past them and left the room.

Shortly after, a conversation ensued between the boy and his dad . Of course, Kate and James listened in. Guess what the boy told his dad. “Dad, I saw Uncle J and Aunt K having sex… though I made them think I did not understand what they did” LOL

What happened to K and J will be a gist for another day....

What would you do to this kid if you found yourself in this situation? LMFAO. The world is fast changing indeed...

HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE A MORE INTERESTING RELATIONSHIP

Dear Friends and Readers, please, check out some tips on how we can achieve a more interesting and lasting relationship. I stumbled on them and thought I should share with y'all. 

Schedule “Me” Time

Every relationship needs ‘no-relationship’ time. Spending all your time together because it is a weekend or a Public Holiday. Not good. Sometimes, you need to hit the movies without him or her and do just ‘you’ or sometimes with your friends. Please, this is not a time to go hang out with another man or woman in one corner. #winks#

Give Gifts

Giving a gift to someone not only lets them know you love them, but also that you’ve been thinking of them when they weren’t around. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant or pricey, it just has to be something from the heart that your partner would really enjoy. Even if they tell you that it’s unnecessary and not to buy it, it’s very much necessary for the future health of your relationship and a great way to keep a relationship interesting.

Go on dates

Hey, just because you’ve been dating for a while doesn’t mean you should shirk your duties as a gentleman. And a date doesn't mean you take her to that local joint you always go to. Instead, do some planning and make a reservation someplace affordable, but romantic. Open the door for her, order some wine and dessert and hold her hand if she wants to. Make it a regular thing, weekly or bi-weekly depending on your budget and schedules. It might seem like a lot of work, but it’ll make your relationship stronger and healthier in the long run.

Laugh Together

Laughing is the key to a lot of healthy relationships. Even when you are stressed or frustrated, always try to find something to giggle about. It always pulls us out of a funk. This means that you look for discussion topics or situations that can help you get a good one (laugh)

Let the Compliments Flow…

Develop the habit of always passing compliments. Even if it seems like something insignificant. It just has a way of making relationships better. Please, don’t put your partner down in any way; not by error, not by omission.

Speak Your Mind

Respect each other enough to be honest and up front in your communication at all times. And forget issues already trashed in the past.

Say Those Three Little Words

It is so simple, but tell your partner ‘I love you’ every day—and mean it.

Fight Fair

It's inevitable that if you're in a relationship, you're going to fight, but if you want yours to last, you're going to have to fight fair. This means listening to each other, being open to discussing even the more uncomfortable or frustrating topics and being flexible when things don't go your way. If you can't resolve your arguments in the early stages of a relationship, you aren't going to have much luck doing it as time goes on.

Set goals together

Sit down with your partner and decide where you guys want to be in the long-term -- neighborhood, house, kids, jobs, etc. -- and how to get there. Ask each other for advice about how best to accomplish those goals and once they are accomplished, you can set new ones. There are always ways to better yourself and your relationship, and it’s better to do it together than separately.

Try new things in the bedroom

Trust me, there is always something that you haven’t tried. Let’s face it, if you’ve been with someone for a long time, it inevitably gets a little monotonous in the bedroom with both partners wanting to just get their kicks and go to bed. However, if you really want to give your relationship staying power, give a little extra effort in the bedroom: bring in some sex toys if she wants (or if you want); bring on the whips and chains; or pour some candle wax. These things don’t have to sound appealing to you, but give them a try anyway and you might be surprised. At the very least, you’ll have shared a new experience together. 

Hmmm.... What do you think about them? Do you think we really need all these to have a good relationship? 

MATCHMAKING GONE WRONG?

Photo Credit: Google Images

I have never been a fan of matchmaking much less Online Match Making. I love to see what I am buying before paying plus I love good things, including my men #winks#. Heheheheh.

Apparently, my friend is not like me. She believes you can find love anyhow and anywhere. Afterall, doesn’t Rihanna’s song say ‘We found Love in a hopeless place’? Hmmmm

So she met this guy through her other friend who never physically met the guy. According to her friend, the guy was cool, handsome, rich, lived in the US and worked with an IT Networking Firm. They exchanged pins, numbers etc and boomed! Relationship started. They got close, my friend would receive calls into the night, he would pay most of her bills, shop boxes of clothes for her, (and hey! Sincerely, I got jealous at some point…shhhh, it is a secret, just between me and you, ok?).

Even I who was skeptical at the beginning just went with the flow cos it was too real to be a lie. Afterall, I could see his handiwork in my friend’s life, and of course in mine too, as I got really cool designer’s #winks#. I could also see cool profile pics and some facial video clips of him, so what else?

But my skepticism returned when my friend started talking about marriage barely three months later. I tried to make her give it some time, but it fell unto deaf ears; she no gree oo. So I had to just support her, I mean, what could I do but to hope for the best?

Long story short, the guy came home. Yay!! For introduction, Engagement and the Wedding. By the way, the guy had wanted a proxy wedding (you know, getting married to a picture), but we all, with our heavy boots kicked against it.

On the day he came to my friend’s house for the first time, I was with her because we were expecting the August visitor. At hearing the knock at the door, we rushed out full of expectations. She got to the door before me. But as I was about to say, ‘Babes let them in na’, (he was supposed to come with his friend, btw) I heard a resounding thud with my friend on the floor almost lifeless. I was confused but tried to help her. I was just trying to lift her when I got a glimpse of what she saw. Jeez, you don’t want to know.

He was a baby with a man’s face. (Now, don’t get me wrong, he was supposed to be a 35 year old. Shhhhh, secret)

We succeeded in resuscitating her.

If you found yourself in this situation, what would you do? Would you leave the guy heartbroken after you made him a promise of marriage? Would you stay with him considering how wonderful a person he was?

And oh! My aso-ebi is still in my closet, don’t even know how to wear it.

CAN TRUE LOVE CHEAT??

I met a guy who shared with me a story that left me asking questions. I decided to share it with you. Please, read and tell him what to do….

"I was dating a really lovely girl whom I fought so hard to eventually get. At first the going was good as we really were in love. Peeps around could feel the chemistry between us. I loved her to the moon and back. Until one faithful day when I met Jenny who, no doubt, was a very pretty lady. Truth be told, she was more beautiful than my girl but I never had eyes for her because for me, I had found it all in Tinu.

I wanted to just be just friends with Jenny but she had her plans.

One faithful day, Jenny who lived around my neighborhood saw me going into my house and called my attention and was like, ‘Hey, aren’t you gonna invite me in?’ You know, like in Vampire movies. I was both surprised and confused but my ego wouldn’t allow me turn her down. So I told her to come in. We talked and saw movies after which she left. I was happy to be relieved of her.

Two days later, I heard a knock on my door. Since I was expecting Tinu, I just opened the door without asking. And before me stood the ever surprising Jenny. Holy crap!! I muttered under my breath, opening the door and interrogating her about coming without pre-informing me at the same time. And then she was like, ‘Can’t a sister check on a brother without questions?’ rolling her eyes and pushing past me. I felt bad a bit and told her I was sorry.

Her visits became more frequent and we got closer until it happened and my life changed. She was wild and crazy and could do anything in bed. I wanted to see her more often and that was what messed up my relationship.

Tinu never suspected anything until one Sunday afternoon when she visited without informing me. She caught me with Jenny right on top of me and I felt like a piece of shit. Then, my eyes were clear but Tinu had left me. 

I hated Jenny because she caused me my beautiful love life. I apologized to Tinu like a zillion times but she never took me back. I still love and want her. Jenny, on the other hand, wants me but I can’t stand her. Please, what do I do???"

He said he can't move on.. What do you advise? Should he keep begging Tinu and hopes that maybe, someday she forgives him or should he remain single for life? 

As for me, I think he should try dating someone else… Or maybe, get it rolling with Jenny (LOL) who knows???