Some people believe that being ready for marriage comes
solely with age. In fact, I have heard people make statements like, “Is s/he
still single at her age?” Or “S/he is too young to be married, what does s/he
know about marriage?” and so on.
Writing about this now reminds me of a story a friend told
me some few weeks back. According to him, there is this friend of his who got
married at 25 years old, and could only stay married for 8 months. In his opinion, the lady
should not have married because even though she was 25 she reasoned like she was 18.
LOL
Do you really think that woman’s marriage failed because of
my friend’s reason? I think the answer is “NO”. As a matter of fact, I know women who married their husbands at the age of 18 and are still
married.
Don’t get me wrong, age does play a role, but at a very
minimal level. I hope I am right there.
However, ‘READINESS’ to me, is key in having a successful
marriage.
But the question is, “How do you know you are ready for marriage?”
Check out how some points here…
YOU'VE DATED PEOPLE
This is not to say you should date every girl or boy on the
block before you find your match. It just means that having had a number of partners
(not necessarily sexual) could help you figure out what qualities are important
to you and what makes a relationship work.
YOUR GOALS ARE SIMILAR
Having similar goals can keep you both on the same page for
a very long time if not for your lifetime and nothing is as sweet as knowing
that you both are travelling on the same path. If this is not the case with
you, then don’t get hitched; you are not ready because one of you will end up
disappointed.
YOU DON'T WANT TO CHANGE HIM/HER
We all know that there is no perfection anywhere. So as much as you can, make peace with the
fact that your partners are what they are. If you can’t stand their habits, then
take the easy way out because you can't change a man. If you can accept each
other’s imperfections, then, you can walk down the isle.
YOU HAVE A SOUND OUT-OF-BED RELATIONSHIP, TOO
When you first started seeing each other, staying between
the sheets all weekend was pretty great. But for your bond to be strong enough
for the long deal or marriage, you need more than that physical connection.
This means you need to know that you can have just as much fun together with
your clothes on as you do when they're off. When you both can achieve this,
then you are ready to have a life-time commitment.
YOU'RE MORE INTERESTED IN THE MARRIAGE THAN THE CEREMONY
A lot of people, especially the ladies are ready to get
wedded not for marriage. Please, don’t forget getting married isn't about the ceremony; it's
about what happens after your big day. It is good to have all the beautiful
dresses, make-up, bridals, photos etc, but ensure you are not just stuck in the
WEDDING FANTASY LAND. When you are done dealing with this, then, you are good
to go.
YOU BOTH SHOULD TRY TO FIGHT FAIR AND RESOLVE FIGHTS
After you have a disagreement, it may seem easiest to
apologize and move on, you know, do the whole "pretend it never
happened" thing and go forward. But sweeping conflicts under the rug only
sets you up for a bigger blow-outs down the road, because the issues will
likely resurface if left unresolved. If you can't talk things out rationally,
you're not ready.
YOU GET YOUR FAMILY’S OPINION ABOUT YOUR PARTNER
Of course, it's your life, so you have the final say. Thing
is, choosing a partner is a big deal, and your inner circle's input does mean
something. It's fine if a few family members or friends aren't in support of you
two as a couple; you can't please everyone. But if everyone seems to think
you're a poor match, ask them why and think again. There might just be something.
The list is endless but I will stop here. Remember, these are just guides.
Always choose right and stay happy
Kisses and Smooches
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