The 45-year-old mother of two is the star of Complex Magazine's February/March issue... She opened up on a lot about herself in the interview she granted the magazine... She is amazing.. And hey, according to the interview below, this body is all-natural ladies
On her new movie, 'The Boy Next Door' and her real life....
The role itself is just every woman. She's a relatable character. She's at a bad point in her life. Obviously, we've all had moments like that where our relationship is falling apart, you're at the verge of divorce, and your life is changing. And you're feeling vulnerable and unwanted and in need of some validation. I mean, it's always challenging, any role you take on. But it's funny, the [roles] that seem closest to you sometimes are more challenging, because it's not you.
On her book, her parents' divorce and how it affected her own life...
They stayed together for a long time, and when they did divorce, it was shocking. But [that was] what we were taught: that you got married and stayed married. Talking about self-esteem, when my first marriage didn’t work out, my second marriage didn’t work out, and I was with Marc [Anthony] and I was trying to make it work, and that didn’t work out, it was devastating. Each time I felt like such a failure, from what I’d been taught. Those are things that grate on your self-esteem. “OK, I failed. Why can’t I make this work?” But it forces you to look at yourself in the best way possible. I’m grateful for all those trials and tribulations because with that you gain perseverance and the desire to learn and grow. So I’m happy about those experiences now. They’re painful in the moment, but now I see myself as a brave warrior princess who keeps going no matter what, and who has learned to cherish the things that matter in life, which is finding my own happiness first and then being able to share that with not just people in my life but with the world.
On being a romantic, belief in fairy tales with happily-ever-after endings ..
Yeah, well, that’s what we’re taught when we’re little. Little girls are taught that especially. Prince Charming is gonna come along. You’re going to live happily ever after, and then that doesn’t happen. You have your first boyfriend in high school and that falls apart and you’re like, “What’s going on?” [Laughs.] All of these things get shattered one by one. It’s so unfair. Nobody teaches us the important thing from when we’re young, which is to value yourself and love yourself, and then you can share happiness and love with other people. That’s what we should be teaching kids, not fairy tales about Prince Charming rescuing you. Or that you have to be Prince Charming and rescue this girl. It’s funny, we’re formed from the time we’re 0 to 7. We’re battling the rest of our lives trying to figure that out. And now that I have my own kids, I think about that stuff a lot, like, what do I want to teach them? I want them to have fantasies and the fairy tales and all that, but at the same time I want them to know what is important, which is to have a great sense of self and to be good on their own.
On whether she has dated younger guys in real life as she did in her latest movie...
Yeah, I’ve gone out with one younger guy. [Laughs.]
On whether relationships between older women and younger men can work...
Is it possible for relationships to work when the guy is older than the girl? [Yes.] Well, then I would say yes. [Laughs.] What would be different?
On things like celebrity hacking being a trade-off for being rich and famous.
[Laughs.] Oh! When you become rich and famous, you don’t have feelings anymore?! That’s what it is. OK! C’mon. It’s not about having money in the bank. You can have all the money in the world and it doesn’t mean you’re a happy person. Money doesn’t solve problems. It makes some things easier but it just gives you a different set of problems. Everything has a trade-off in this world. I’ve learned that from being broke as hell and having money.
On why so many beautiful women are insecure...
It’s not just beautiful women. It’s all women. And it’s all men, too. It’s everyone. People are more surprised when they hear that somebody who is attractive is insecure. I don’t understand that because, again, we’re all human. Nobody looks in the mirror and goes, “That person is so perfect!” It’s just the nature of a human being that they have insecurities. You try to do things that you’re proud of to boost up your self-esteem and your integrity. At the end of the day, you’re the only person who can give that to you. That’s something that everybody struggles with at one time or another. I’m no different than anybody else in that sense.
How do you respond to people who criticized your “Booty” video and asked what your kids will say when they see it???
I’m not allowed to be sexy because I’m a mom? It’s like, How do you think I got my children? [Laughs.] The truth is I don’t want to do anything that they would be embarrassed of in the long run. But at the end of the day, they care more about me being there, taking care of them, than if I’m sexy in a video. And I’m not saying that one day they may not be like, “Mom! Why did you do that?!” [Laughs.] But I don’t think that in 10 years I’m going to be doing that either. Again, it’s about what feels good to me in this moment. It felt right. It’s a good message for women. I’m standing next to this girl who is 24 years old and I’m in my 40s and there’s no difference. Women need to see that and feel that. You can’t let the fear of what people might say or think stop you from doing what you want to do or else we would never do anything.
You’ve maintained an all-natural look, but nowadays even young women are getting plastic surgery....
Yeah, the bodies right now are…unreal.
So, do you feel good about getting older???
I feel great about being able to do everything that I did in my 20s better now. That’s what happens as you mature, you get better. You have more experience. And I’m proud of that. That other rhetoric, like the fairy tale rhetoric, in your mind can defeat you. And this generation of women said, “No. We have a lot to offer.” Probably more than we ever have. And it’s great for girls that are young right now to go, “I have time.” It’s a long road. And for me, I feel like mine has just begun.
On whether relationships between older women and younger men can work...
Is it possible for relationships to work when the guy is older than the girl? [Yes.] Well, then I would say yes. [Laughs.] What would be different?
On things like celebrity hacking being a trade-off for being rich and famous.
[Laughs.] Oh! When you become rich and famous, you don’t have feelings anymore?! That’s what it is. OK! C’mon. It’s not about having money in the bank. You can have all the money in the world and it doesn’t mean you’re a happy person. Money doesn’t solve problems. It makes some things easier but it just gives you a different set of problems. Everything has a trade-off in this world. I’ve learned that from being broke as hell and having money.
On why so many beautiful women are insecure...
It’s not just beautiful women. It’s all women. And it’s all men, too. It’s everyone. People are more surprised when they hear that somebody who is attractive is insecure. I don’t understand that because, again, we’re all human. Nobody looks in the mirror and goes, “That person is so perfect!” It’s just the nature of a human being that they have insecurities. You try to do things that you’re proud of to boost up your self-esteem and your integrity. At the end of the day, you’re the only person who can give that to you. That’s something that everybody struggles with at one time or another. I’m no different than anybody else in that sense.
On the endless rumours and the change of name backlash...
The rumors at that time were so endless. I still haven’t figured that all out completely. I’ve thought sometimes, “Was it because I was a woman? Was it because I was a minority?” [Laughs.] I was like, “Why me? Why are they picking on me so much? What have I done?” It’s funny. Men get praise when they are successful, like, “Look how great he’s doing.” Women get criticized for some reason. I don’t understand it. All I know is that because I’ve stuck around for so long people realize, “Oh, that must not be true.” [Laughs.] “We finally got to know the real her.”
On fear of being alone in the past...
I’ve changed a lot since then. I was afraid to be alone. And I was probably much more raw when I did those interviews and more off the cuff. But now, as I’ve grown and matured, you realize that being alone is liberating. It’s freeing and you need it. Whether or not you’re afraid of it, as I was, it’s a fear that is to be conquered, not to be soothed with adulation from other people. It comes back to loving yourself and being happy on your own. Then you can go to another level of sharing something amazing with the world. And that’s why I keep growing.
On fear of being alone in the past...
I’ve changed a lot since then. I was afraid to be alone. And I was probably much more raw when I did those interviews and more off the cuff. But now, as I’ve grown and matured, you realize that being alone is liberating. It’s freeing and you need it. Whether or not you’re afraid of it, as I was, it’s a fear that is to be conquered, not to be soothed with adulation from other people. It comes back to loving yourself and being happy on your own. Then you can go to another level of sharing something amazing with the world. And that’s why I keep growing.
How do you respond to people who criticized your “Booty” video and asked what your kids will say when they see it???
I’m not allowed to be sexy because I’m a mom? It’s like, How do you think I got my children? [Laughs.] The truth is I don’t want to do anything that they would be embarrassed of in the long run. But at the end of the day, they care more about me being there, taking care of them, than if I’m sexy in a video. And I’m not saying that one day they may not be like, “Mom! Why did you do that?!” [Laughs.] But I don’t think that in 10 years I’m going to be doing that either. Again, it’s about what feels good to me in this moment. It felt right. It’s a good message for women. I’m standing next to this girl who is 24 years old and I’m in my 40s and there’s no difference. Women need to see that and feel that. You can’t let the fear of what people might say or think stop you from doing what you want to do or else we would never do anything.
You’ve maintained an all-natural look, but nowadays even young women are getting plastic surgery....
Yeah, the bodies right now are…unreal.
On her natural body and concern as a parent of a daughter in the age of plastic surgeries....
Yeah, what is she gonna want to do, or how good is she gonna feel about herself? I hope to show her from example that you have to love yourself for who you are. And that doesn’t mean that you can’t do things to enhance yourself, like work out, or if somebody wants to get a nose job. I don’t know. You can take a hard stance on things and then eat your words later. All I’m saying is, at the end of the day, you got to feel happy about who you are inside, and then you can make good choices for yourself.
Yeah, what is she gonna want to do, or how good is she gonna feel about herself? I hope to show her from example that you have to love yourself for who you are. And that doesn’t mean that you can’t do things to enhance yourself, like work out, or if somebody wants to get a nose job. I don’t know. You can take a hard stance on things and then eat your words later. All I’m saying is, at the end of the day, you got to feel happy about who you are inside, and then you can make good choices for yourself.
I feel great about being able to do everything that I did in my 20s better now. That’s what happens as you mature, you get better. You have more experience. And I’m proud of that. That other rhetoric, like the fairy tale rhetoric, in your mind can defeat you. And this generation of women said, “No. We have a lot to offer.” Probably more than we ever have. And it’s great for girls that are young right now to go, “I have time.” It’s a long road. And for me, I feel like mine has just begun.
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