GET THAT MAN TO COMMIT TO YOU!Photo

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I was having a chat with a friend I met sometime in the past. Grace (not real name) and Mark, her boyfriend had been dating for about three years then without a commitment sign from him. I was not close to them enough to know the reason the man was not talking about committing after that long time of dating but I did think he had his ‘reasons’. After all, everyone has a reason for not committing, right? 

Truth is, not many men are ready to commit these days. In fact, in the part of the world where I am from, men want to be boys forever. But I tell you, there are millions of women who have got some men of substance committing to them with all of their being. What this means is, you can get anyone to commit to you no matter the situation.  But now, the question is ‘HOW’? Check out some of the ways, you can get a man to commit to you....

Blow His Mind..

Be better than anyone he has ever had in all aspects of the relationship. There has to be that something that makes him want to say, ‘this is the woman I want for all my life’. Make him want to be with you, enjoy your company and feel awesome around you. This means you have to be at your best. Truth is, when you get to that point, even you will know it.

Talk..
Some ladies don’t talk about the status of their relationships with their men. You can’t know what plans he has if you don’t talk. So let him know you are ready for a commitment and try to find out if he is too. He is not supposed to be a bully that you can’t face. Freely open up and tell him your fears and ask questions about where your relationship is heading. If you don’t understand the destination, please, give him some time to figure out what he wants. The reason you need this point is because some men don’t know what they want from a relationship.

Go Out Without Him!.

This makes him want to have you around more often. Men, sort of, don’t like to be undermined in any way. Sometimes, when you give him the impression that you are so cool without him, he wants to just buckle up a little, trust me. So, don’t get all clingy like he is your life line, go on dates with girlfriends, your sister(s) or even your female colleagues. Take pictures and show them to him. Let him know that 'you can do bad great, by yourself'.

Assume Your Duty..

In other words, take liberties. Adopt the role of the one and only girlfriend, fiancée etc. Your man may just assume you two have already started a serious thing. From time to time, pick up groceries for him; ask him to do the same. If you live close to him, pack his work lunch every once in a while and drop it for him on your way to work.  Call him at work and say, " Hey, sorry to bother you, but on the way home, could you buy some milk, fruits and some of those sanitary towels for me?"  If he doesn't refuse your request, it may just mean acceptance. And who knows? It may just mean the start of some sort of commitment.

Hang Out with Your Male Friends..

Men have a problem with their women having guy friends; men with whom women claim to have platonic relationships. In fact, men don't believe there is such a thing as a guy friend, especially when it comes to a girlfriend they care about. Trust me, this could bring you and your guy close enough to a committed relationship. But, you need to be careful here because if not, this could cost you even the relationship.

What do you think about these tips?

Please,send  in your points if you know other ways you can get a man to commit to a woman. Let's learn!

HOW I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY RAPIST AGAIN

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Someone shared this story with me and asked my opinion. Sincerely, I didn't know what to advise her. So I thought I'd share with you, my dear friends. 

Please, read the story and tell her what you feel is best for her right now...

"I am Anie. In the year 2003, I met this man I really loved and who truly loved me back or so I thought. I could give anything for Jake. The connection we felt seemed unbreakable. But since I was quite young, we agreed that we were not going to get intimate until we got married. We did things lovers do except sex and we were happy with each other.

One year passed and we were still good and even more in love until one fateful day. I had visited my boyfriend with the intention of playing computer games as we usually did. Fair enough, we started the game but his sudden change of countenance made me start asking questions as I got worried.

After much 'questioning', he finally opened up and said he was tired of being in a relationship without sex. I got really surprised but started trying to make him understand that I was too young to be having sex at that time. All my pleas fell on deaf ears.

Long story short, I was raped by my supposed boyfriend. A man who claimed to love me so much.

Ten years later, my aunt told me about a colleague of hers who needed to get married and was finding it difficult to get a decent girl. She told him about me and advised that I give him some attention since I wasn't dating. Though I was not the type that gave in to matchmaking, I decided to listen to my aunt for some reason. We started talking, that is, me and the stranger, who was by name, Charly.

We did pretty well. We fell in love in less than one month. I was amazed at how fast I had become so fond of him.

After about a month, it was time for us to meet each other. Though, I was nervous but I was looking forward to it. As a matter of fact, I had one million butterflies in my tummy.

We chose a day, time and place of meeting. It was a Saturday. About thirty minutes before our meeting time, I left the house in order not to be late. I got to the restaurant about 10 minutes early. I decided to get myself a drink while I waited for my date. I had just taken a sip from my drink when I saw Jake!

The drink in my stomach protested followed by every organ in my body. ‘No, no, God, please, don’t let him be my date’ I wished in silence.

I swallowed hard as he waved to me like the world was at peace. I looked at him and looked away. By the time I looked back, he had sit at the other end; about three seats away from mine. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and then after a few seconds, he took the phone close to his ears.

I felt a vibration in my bag and wished so hard that it was not his call my phone was responding to. Fearfully, I took my phone; it was Charly! ‘Hello’ I said, almost inaudibly.

‘I’m there, where are you?’  I heard his question twice; through the phone and just in front of me.

My phone dropped and I wished the earth would open and just swallow me. I had fallen in love with my rapist again! Charly was Jake!

Hmmmm...He came back to beg and ask my hand in marriage.  Truth is, I forgive him but I can't seem to get myself to spend the rest of my life with him. Not after what he did to me!

Do you think I am overreacting?

Please, what do I do?"

I am left with questions myself... I will ask one though

'Do you think Charly knew she was the one all along?

But please, give Anie your advise first.

THE ONLY TWO REASONS MEN ARE ATTRACTED TO WOMEN

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I was surfing the net and came across an article which says there are only two reasons men are attracted to women and those reasons are:

1. She is good for his EGO
2. She is good for his WELL-BEING

According to the writer, there are countless more specific reasons that a man is attracted to a woman, but every unique cause of attraction in a man can be categorized into one of these two main reasons.

In making his point clearer he explained that To be good for a man’s ego is to demonstrate qualities that he can “brag to his buddies” about.

On the second reason, he said that To be good for a man’s well-being is to satisfy his needs in some way.

Ok, I know that every man wants to be proud of his partner and of course, be able to show her off somehow. I also do know that men have needs that their partners should satisfy but I never really saw these as men's major standpoint. But what do I know? 

So guys, do you agree with this writer? Do you think he is on point? Are these what really attract you to women??

ONCE UPON A RAPIST - FINAL ACT

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Ok people, this is the last part of the 'ONCE UPON A RAPIST' Story. I hope everyone has been following. If 'No', please, checkout the beginning parts here and here.

So where were we?

Oh yeah! I was swept back into the room with a kick.......

The thought of my failed escape got me really angry.  In my intense anger, I gave my captor a stern and straight look as I roared in between tears ‘let me go now!’

‘What happens if I don’t let you go now?’ he asked trying not to shout. ‘I don’t know why you are so stubborn, I know a lot of girls who would have given in already’. 

‘I am not those girls, Jeff, and I am never going to be them’, I shouted with my eyes closed and tears trickling down uncontrollably.

‘Bring down your voice’, he commanded. But at this point, I was not going to be hushed, so I kept shouting. In anger, he grabbed my both arms and shook me as he firmly said, ‘shut the h*** up!’. The look on his face left my words hanging in my mouth. I tried to make out the meaning of that look but I couldn't.

He left me and went to sit on the bed that was already looking like two elephants had fought on it. I stood in the middle of the room pitying myself and swearing never to speak to any man again. I was still on the act of self-pity when I heard my captor say something. I hardly heard him so I turned to his direction to hear what he had to say clearly but then he had stopped talking.

I made a confused face at him and asked what he said.  He looked at me for a while and muttered, ‘You can go now’. My mouth went open with surprise. ‘But’, he continued, ‘you would have to kiss me first’.  My stomach stirred with irritation as I looked at him straight in the eyes and said, ‘what is the point in forcing me to kiss you now when you know it means I may never want to see you again’.

‘Beatrice, truth is, you are never going to see me again anyway, I lost that chance three hours ago. But it hurts because I really do love you’, he said. I was thrown off balance by his reply but I managed a few words of admonition, ‘ Next time, don’t force people you love, I mean, you don’t need it’.

After some seconds, he sighed and asked, ‘so you are not going to kiss me?’ ‘No’, I replied with a frown. He stood up, held my hands, walked to door, opened it with a key from his pocket and bid me goodbye.

As I stepped out of that room, all I wanted to do was run before he could change his mind but on a second thought, I decided to walk to the gate. However, I had just taken about three steps when he said, ‘Bee, why didn’t you kiss me, at least?’.

‘No reason that serious except that I am not ready yet’, I replied and walked away with my dignity and my body intact. Hmmm.

What were you expecting the end would be? Hahahahaha

Actually, I didn’t think I was going to escape until I was out of the premises.. LOL

But do you think he really wanted to rape me? Because now, I am thinking he never really wanted to.

What do you think about his claim about loving me? Do you think he freed me because he loved me as he claimed?

MUST WATCH - SARAHOLOGY

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Hello Friends,

Thank you so much for yesterday. You made my day! 

If I am given the chance to choose my friends again, I will choose all of you over and over and over and over again. You are the bestestest....LOL. Thank you so much for all the love, wishes, prayers on my day. Big hug, Kisses, Love. God will celebrate all of you in Jesus name.. Amen

To show my appreciation further, I have decided to reward you all for the good wishes with a good laugh. There is this hilarious short film I saw over the weekend that really cracked me up and I thought I should share it with you guys.

It is titled Sarahology and it was produced by Olakunle Agboola.

I have seen it like five times since I first I knew about it and I still want to see it. LOL. 

E go make u laugh so te u go forget your name!

Click here to watch....

SHE IS 2+! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEBE

Hey Friends,

We have another celebrant on HD today.Yay!! She is a beauty, isn't she?

Her name is Beatrice Hazon Obiorah. She works with VAS Consulting.

She is one of the brains behind Hazon's Diaries. You should meet her; she is sweeeet!

 She wishes for greater things .... God, please, grant them unto her. Amen

 Let's celebrate her people; send in your congratulatory messages and prayers.

 Happy Birthday Bebe! You are the bestestestest..... LOL

If you want to be celebrated on your day, just contact us on the email addresses displayed on the side. Stay happy!

Kisses

ONCE UPON A RAPIST - PART 2

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Hallos, 

How are my awesome friends doing today? Did not want to bore you with a long read the last time so I decided to do the story in bits. If you did not get the part 1, please read here

So where were we?

Yes, I remember!

His friend left! And I was left with my friend who would later become my what now…Captor,? Since I was getting uncomfortable, however, I decided I should leave but Jeff calmly said, ‘come on now, you just came and your break is not even close to being over yet, sit and stay with me for a while’. I stupidly nodded my head and sat down on the floor far from the bed. He smiled coyly and said, ‘Are you afraid of me? Sit on the bed na’.  I said ‘No’ and moved to the bedside against my wish and sat at the edge of the bed.

He talked for some minutes and moved closer to the side I was practically perching. By this time, it was 12noon, meaning that my break was over. I heaved a sigh of relief, stood up and made for the door as I announced, ‘my break is over, I need to start going’. But before, I could successfully take three steps, Jeff was in front of me begging me to stay a little while longer.

I frowned and calmly said, ‘Jeff, my break is over, besides, my cousin must have been looking for me’. I need to get out of here’. ‘ I am not ready for you to go yet, he screamed. Realizing he had used the wrong tone, he smiled and apologized.

At this point, I knew I had bitten more than I could chew. My eyes became teary as I started begging for my freedom. Images of girls taken and captured in movies I had seen started flashing through my memory. 

And as we know, in these movies, some or most of these taken girls always have superhero dads, uncles, brothers or even friends. I thought of any superhero I knew, none came to mind.

Don’t get me wrong, my dad is my hero but here was reality. #straightface#, not some movie!

So many ideas flashed in my head but the closest tool I could use at this time was ‘crying’. Did the crying work? Nope. Ok maybe for a while as he begged me to stop and led me back to the bed after he locked the door and took the keys. On seeing him lock the door, I panicked and screamed, ‘I want to be led out of the door not to the bed!' still crying.

He tried to make me sit but I refused. I guess that infuriated him as he pushed me to the bed. I struggled until I fell 'yakata' on the bed. I increased my crying tempo. Meanwhile, my position on the bed after the fall couldn’t be any more tempting. But I was fast enough to coil my legs so tightly together.

Ermm, may I tell you this? I was wearing a skirt....

Anyway, the next fight which was getting me to uncoil my legs started. He struggled to get me to open my legs but all to no avail; it was as if all the energy my body could ever boast of was concentrated on my waist and legs. LOL. After he stopped trying to split the legs that were almost feeling like siamese twins at this time, I launched my second strategy. Prayer.

At first, I was praying in my mind, then I started muttering the prayers out. My eyes were closed so I did not know what he was doing and I did not care. When I finally opened my eyes, he was sitting very close to me, apparently listening in on my conversation with my Father God. I almost smiled seeing the confused look on his face but I had to hold it in. There was no time for that!

‘Are you a pastor’, he asked. I didn’t care to reply.

‘Do you think I want to rape you?’ He asked again. I gave him a long stare without saying a word.

‘Are you a virgin?’. At this point, I was losing it but I knew that would be double ‘wahala’ for deadi body. ‘ I’m only 15, what do you think’, I asked, assuming that answered his question. He laughed and said, ‘Nigerians sha, they like answering questions with questions’.

‘Please, Jeff, let me go.’ I begged. Of course, he refused and moved closer again. This time more aggressively. I did not know when I started wailing. Another round of fighting and trying to uncoil my legs. Did he succeed this time? Hmmm. Yes, he did!

With my lycra skirt up to my waist and both my legs helplessly apart, all I could do was beg him with everything he held dear.

‘I don’t hold any damn thing dear except my mum but bad news for you because she is dead!’ he roared. When I opened my eyes to look at him, all I could see was intense anger through red eyes. There and then I gave up on begging. I blinked and closed my eyes again, imagining me pregnant with this beast’s offspring. 

‘Oh no! what if I get infected’ I thought. Just at this moment, I reignited my will to fight. ‘I am not going to allow this monster destroy my life!’ I thought. But then, what was I going to do? No idea; I was totally blank.

Luckily for me, an idea came!

‘Jeff, please could you allow me go pee?’ I asked in the gentlest manner.

Ok, so you know, the convenience was outside the room and I was aware of that. That means I had to go outside to pee. Smart girl!, you are thinking right? 

‘Ok, you can go pee but I will come with you because I want to also ease myself. 'I think one person should go first', I suggested. My dear Jeff would not hear of that. 

'So as small as you are, you think you are smarter than me abi? 'Come on would you lead the way?' he ordered.

‘This guy is the devil’s son’, I thought and managed a small smile as we went outside together.

I took the first room while he took the second. Before I could say, 'Jack Robinson', he was done and waiting for me. We walked back slowly. Just as we got to the entrance of the room that had been my prison for the past two hours, I stood trying to figure out the best direction to run to.

'Don't even think of it if you know you want to leave here as you came' ordered my captor.

Fear was all I could feel at that moment as I managed to say, ' I am not going back into that room, period!

'So you are giving me orders now right'?. These angry words came with a kick which swept me back into the room I had dreaded so much. Back to square one??

whew... 

Please, let's round off next time...It's too long but I want you to get all the details.

I love you guys.

ONCE UPON A RAPIST

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I had just finished one of my pre-Jamb classes, precisely the one before break. I was excited because we had finally ended the long and boring Government class of how the Military seized power and how the Civilians 'unseized' it.

Well, there was nothing much to do for the 30 minutes of break except that I had to go get some snacks and a drink. I was just trying to get some money out of my cheap wallet when I had the urge to look out the window.

I did look out and lo and behold, there was my ‘ex-toaster’ ‘ex-wooer’ looking up at me. I ran back, maybe out of shock or shyness. I don’t know, maybe one or both of the reasons. After some seconds I looked out again and jeez, he was still there. ‘What is he doing here?’ I thought.

Now, Jeffrey or Jeff as he was popularly called was neither a student of the school nor a pre-Jambite. The reason his presence was a bit like an intrusion.

Back to my story.

While I was still wondering why he was around, he waved. Initially I wasn’t sure that was for me so I looked sideways but since no one was standing there except me, I reluctantly waved back at him, waiting for the next action, I guess. Shortly after, he beckoned to me to come downstairs. At first I thought, ‘why should I go down to meet him?’. But on a second thought, I decided to go, after all, I was going to go buy stuff anyway.

Ok, I liked Jeff actually #winks# but I thought he was too old for me because while I was fifteen going on sixteen, he was twenty-nine or thirty. This was the main reason I said ‘NO, to him. Plus the fact that my folks would not hear of it, of course!

By the way, seconds after, I was downstairs. But my friend was nowhere to be found. I got confused and started wondering if I was hallucinating. So I thought, ‘what a heck, let me grab my snacks then’. As I was about crossing to the other side, I looked to my right and there was Jeff, again! He was already a few yards off. He looked, smiled and beckoned to me to keep coming.

Did I follow him? Oh yes, I did. As a matter of fact, I kept following until he entered through a gate not far from the school building. A minute later, we were both in a small but beautiful room apartment with his friend.

Ok, I never thought of any danger until his friend said he was leaving to return soon. Immediately, it was as if my eyes got cleared of whatever was covering them and I remembered I did not tell my cousin where I was going….haba!!

To be contuned…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AKINSOLA

   

Yaaaayyy!! Another HD lover, reader etc is plus one today! Happy Birthday Akinsola. Last week, it was the beautiful Ogechi, read here if you missed it.

His full name is Akinsola Akinwale. He is an excellent Sofware Developer working with VAS Consulting. He is a blogger, Motivational Speaker and Writer. Talk to him if you ever want or need to be motivated. hehehe. He is actually good at a lot of things. In fact, he is an ocean of knowledge. 

Check his blog out here

He wishes to be better next year, doing greater things and reaching greater heights. Awww

God will grant your wishes and may He grant you more years in health, wealth and prosperity.

Happy! Happy!! Happy!!! Birthday

Come on People, let's show a brother some love. 

See more photos below, he is also a photo lover..#winks#LOL

                                    

We mean it here when we say we want to celebrate you. Send your details a day before you birthday. Check 'Birthdays' page for more information on celebrating you.

Give Akinsola a shout out!!

MEN'S HABBITS THAT KEEP WOMEN AWAY

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A short lived relationship one of my girlfriends had sometime in the past inspired this writing. Somehow she met this really handsome dude and she was really excited to know him better. So they start hanging out every once in a while. But then she noticed the guy was always talking about himself so much that as at their fourth date, the guy only knew her name and where she lived. Goodness!

I felt kind of bad for her because I knew she really liked this guy but with time the attraction vanished, though gradually. 

Guys, there are so many habits like that that can make women walk away from your life without informing you. Sometimes, we can't easily control them but hey, we can deal with them.

Check some of these habits out...

Boasting

Guys, making a woman feel you are a good catch is not bad but when it starts looking like you are bragging, ladies get pissed or run off. Oh you have an amazing job, great! You have got so much money in your account, awesomely great!You wear latest designers, oops! You have the latest cars, you live in a 50-room apartment, seriously? Bobos, please, you don't need all that 'bigging' up..Wait a minute, whoever told you that all this bragging will make women overlook the fact that you’re so boring? Oh yes, bragging makes you boring buddy. So stop it! Being egotistical won’t make the ladies stick around. Try employing a tiny bit of modesty and try asking questions about them rather than blabbing about yourself all the time.

Scratching Your Private Parts

Guys, please, do not get caught doing this. It’s definitely a turn-off for women when men shamelessly scratch ‘down there’ without a care in the world. Eww... For crying out loud, it is really dirty. At least get your scratching fixed in the bathroom when you are not in full view of everyone else. Clean up and come out looking all dope.

Ungentlemanliness

Guys, ladies do not really expect this perfect, prim and proper guy but not being gentlemanly at all is a huge turn-off. Now you can take a lady on a few dates and treat her like a queen but the day you leave her to find a cab by herself after a date is the day she stops being attracted to you. Women like to be looked after and feel safe when they are with you. Don't make her walk home alone because you want to watch a match. Wrong!! Don't make her open the car door when you can just be a gentleman and do it. Women are fragile, treat them tenderly as gentlemen would. There are so many other things that gentle men do, please, go learn them. Hmm

Lack of Sense of Humour
Every man must possess a good sense of humour to keep women attracted to him. It’s a powerful tool in a conversation, particularly when overcoming awkward moments. So dear guys, not having one makes you seem overly serious and boring. Women want to laugh at something hilarious you have done or said until they can barely breathe. Straight faces keep them away but the guy who is having a laugh with his friends or keeping a cheerful outlook, on the other hand, always looks like a fun person to be around and so women flock around them. Make our ribs hurt, crack us up and we will always be around.

No Ambition

Most women are attracted to men who have a focus in life, and they find it annoying if you have no ambition to achieve anything. It makes it hard for women to respect you if you can’t speak to them about your goals, ideas, and things you want to achieve. No woman wants to settle down with the guy who lazies around on the sofa watching day time television and eating his mother's foods and uploading them on BBM while his mates are working hard to achieve their dreams.  And please, do not be 'empty-brained'; read and build your knowledge so that you can talk with authority as a man. Aim for a quality life. Write down  things you want to achieve in life and start chasing them. No time!

Over-protectiveness

Yes, women  love to feel safe and cared for, but  there’s a fine line between that and being over-protected. Women see over-protectiveness as a sign of insecurity, and no woman likes that. If you are guilty of this habit, try to get rid of it. Women hate it even though they may not tell you. And oh, yes,  it makes you seriously unattractive.

I hope these make sense. Guys, you may not have all of these issues but whichever one you are not handling properly, do well to look into it. Don't lose people who care about you because of habits you are stronger than. It is not worth it!

Feel free to add other habits you feel men need to address. The comment box is all yours.

If you want to be celebrated, just check that page tagged 'Birthdays'... or click here